to want to keep making

led as if by coyote sounds

hello readerz,

it’s S.A.D. season. daylight savings hit like a ton of bricks. I’ve watched 20 episodes of RHONY in 5 days. RHOSLC kept me alive through mono and immune system dysfunction last year, and now RHONY is here to keep me pert through the long dark night of winter. somehow, even daytime feels like night.

this past spring, I was so struck by how quickly everything moves from April - June. April rips open, bursts out, greens everything. May can be cold, but things are growing and summer is pawing at the door. June is warm and properly summer, and then time starts to slip and go woooommmppp like reverb. I know that everything that raises its head in April was worming around below sight all March. so what does that mean for February? for January? for December? if any readers have experience or fondness for the wheel of the year, please write. I’d like to learn more about this way of understanding time.

I feel pretty beat up by the seasonal shift, and work, and political violence, and getting by. Last night was the full beaver moon, and I incensed the four corners of my house in an attempt to both forge protection and welcome the dark, whatever that means. it feels like 10pm when it’s 7pm but the dogs don’t seem to mind at all. they are c-shaped and snoring next to me. they’re warmth-seeking missiles in the bed, and I wake up sweaty.